1905: Playmates

The reply I wrote to the Emperor's letter asking, What's there on the mountain? by South North Dynasty poet Tao Hongjing (AD 452-536)

What's good about the mountain?
On the summit, tons of white clouds,
Only enjoyed by myself,
No way to take hold to send to you.

Tao was a scholar but didn't want to serve and instead went up into the mountains and became a hermit. Emperor Qi Wudi sent Tao a letter asking why he wanted to go to the mountain, what's the purpose? A letter from an emperor is called a Zao1.


1905 - age 4

I grew a little older and could easily separate from my mother. I often went to my grandmother's home in Jioujiang. My grandmother loved me the most and she had me wear nice clothes and fed me delicious food. Every morning, she had me drink milk. Every time I got my hair cut, I drank ginseng. She disciplined me just enough, not too harsh and not too soft. I had playmates of the next door neighbor kids. I loved staying in Jioujiang. But sometimes I had to come back home. 

Every time I came home, I said, "I miss grandma." One day, my parents took me on a walk near the dam. Around the dam, there was a small lake. There was a little boat in the lake and I thought it was the boat that brought people to Jioujiang. I shouted, "I want to go to grandma's!" My mother had to explain to me several times that this was not the boat to Jioujiang. Even though there are a lot of things from my childhood I cannot remember, this is one thing I remember. 

My grandma's house inside Jioujiang city was in a building complex named West Garden. Every family had their own bedroom and dining room, but the living room was shared. When I went there, I usually played in the common living room. Since it was shared, the neighbor kids played there too. There was a little girl about my age who would come up from behind me and cover my eyes and ask me to guess who it was. My grandmother didn't like that and told the kids, "He comes from the country and is naive. Don't bother him." The kids didn't listen to her and still played with me. 

1904: Rain song, back scar

Great Noble* Song** by Guan Hanquin

Wind blow blow, rain pour pour,
Even if you're Chen Tuan, you'll not fall asleep.
Regrets, sorrow carried inside.
Pounce fall fall, tears drip drop,
Cicadas finish chirping, crickets call.
Shh tinkle tinkle, misting rain sprays the banana tree.

*Da De became Emperor Yuan Chenzong's era's name
**Yuan dynasty form usually in praise of the Emperor

1904 - age 3

Just after I turned three, I had a bad infection on my back, a swollen and pussy welt; it hurt terribly. My grandmother heard about it and made a special trip to see me. She used medicine to wash my wound and recited mantras asking Buddha to heal me. The mystical thing was whenever she said mantras, the pain subsided. So I usually called out for her to recite the mantras. In this way, for several months, I was healed. Until now, I still have a scar on my back.