Haiku from the past

My parents' computer is dying. Instead of investing in a hard drive, I'm doing the cloud thing and just uploading stuff I'd rather save to either Facebook or Flickr or here. Haiku I wrote around 2002 with some revised in 2006. Apologies in advance for their quality. 


turning the corner
a narrowing of the eyes
neither sun nor wind

feet shift under ass

glance around an vacant room [2006: glance around a lived-in room]

she nods openly

three generations

so much unsaid, yet there’s love

her mother’s mother

steaming wonton bowl

tokens of edible peace [ 2006: lips unravel spicy peace]

“I’m so glad you came!” [ 2006: tongues can burn two ways]

boxes ungotten

tape from previous tenants

never saw the roof

empty e-mailbox

I’m so bored I sigh slowly [ 2006: bored so bored I sigh slowly]

and twirl in my chair

lots of allergies.

ten minutes to beautiful.

tag lines and you’re it

stress and tapping toes

rub a sleeping arm awake

back unhunched   breath stretch

trappings of a god

lover of my soul reach out

show me the good time

2006:

chop the snake in half

pull it off her swallowed leg

the stories we hear

two umbrellas up

facing different ways home

kisses on the cheek

thirty winters passed

cynicism and suspense

my soul is closer

The view from here

This week's theme is ascent, going up.

[Nainai's 8 lines of varying lengths
- "climb up stairs" is a reference to having broad vision, enlarged perspective. There is a classic Chinese poem that says young people don’t know sadness because they haven’t been sad. But they like to write poems. So they make up feelings they don't have. Many years later, the person has lived through much. They start to talk about it, but then they don’t. Instead they say, "What a nice, cool, autumn evening."

- the may fly--having such a short life span--symbolizes our lives are brief and don't count for much.]

loathing farewell

loved ones gone beloved son hard to ply

our lives only ever like may fly

wing feathers grown means you leave today

loving never ceases

yearning never ceases

often thoughts like vines climb stairs high

lift head far corner earth a dream

someday we'll be together joy nigh nigh

[Gonggong's 23 paired lines of 5 words
- His reference to having traveled over many waters is to a famous classic poem that says "I've gone over ocean after ocean, now this little stream doesn't even count as water. Having seen the clouds on Mount Wu, these clouds don’t even count as clouds."

- Fuji, a dead volcano, had no flora nor streams nor waterfalls. Bare and barren.]

Climbing Mount Fuji
The Japanese looked down on Chinese as being weak and sickly. Right after graduation, all students were required to go through military training at the base of Mount Fuji. Some students thought, "Well, since we’re at the base of Mount Fuji, we should climb it." Our military coach knew the stereotype of Chinese feebleness. So he told me, "you don’t need to climb, don’t participate." I was angered and didn't agree with his assessment, so I begged to go. When we climbed the mountain, at first it was okay. In the middle, I was so hungry and cold, I almost couldn't stay upright. But I persevered and though it was very difficult, finally I got to the top. When I looked down, many Japanese classmates who were strong and athletic didn't make it. I think it was my will, not any physical strength.

Shooting at Mount Fuji’s feet                Group idea: let’s climb up

Our teacher gives us warning                “Climbing is no easy thing

This is our nation’s mountain                 Where the Japanese soul resides

High up ice hard snow                             No place to eat shelter

If you're not well prepared                     There’s no chance for you

You two three are weaklings                  Knowing challenge you should quit

Sick people of eastern Asia                     You should not even try”

Hearing I strut up front                          Though little I will go

Skinny thin bones weak body                Manly men must show integrity

I've already traveled many waters       Why fear this one mountain

Join the team of climbers                        At first fast bounding stride

So hot like cooking pot                             Drop sweat drop no tears

Higher up severe bitter cold                   Wind like thorns pierce bones

Travel on sea, sea sick                             Climb mountain, sick another way

At start hundred plus people                  Now midway half have quit

Some hearts cannot take it                      Some too tired to continue

Even though I am exhausted                   I never think of retreat

Hunger and weariness both forgotten    Must persevere to the end

Just a heap of sand                                    Deserted cold nothing worth noting

Look down at Japanese towns                 Many white clouds cover view

Arriving at the last milestone                  Foggy haze an empty green

Summit the most tall peak                       Proclaim make known my will

Cold window

I see that both today's poems emphasize studying. It has been a long held value, this one of education, studying hard, and is emblematic of being Chinese. I never studied very hard but the value of education is kind of in my bones--valuing intellect and scholastic achievements. I may have mentioned before that I'm the least formally educated person in my family. It's not something that I feel bad about, I guess I feel more like an American in comparison but I still am automatically impressed with MIT grads or PhDs--which is totally Chinese of me.

[Nainai's two parallel stanzas of three lines, first and second of six words, third of seven words.

Notes:
- There's a saying about students who haven’t yet taken entrance exams that translates literally to "cold window bitter study".
- Suen is my dad. He's the third son so normally would have been called San (meaning three) but because in the two generations preceding his the third born sons had died early, their family stopped using that word and changed to Suen instead, which comes from the words suen li (smooth) and suen fu (obedient, submissive).
- I asked my dad and he doesn't remember the poem he wrote that is mentioned in the description but assumes it written before he began his PhD, the year before he was married in 1967. This year, my parents had their 45th anniversary.]

1967, son Suen sent me a poem and asked me to respond. For a while, I didn’t have any inspiration to write anything. Until a mid-July evening, I was looking at the moon, and it inspired me to write this.

Corner of earth lives hopeful mother
Wishes follow moon light beams traverse
Watch sons daughters cold window bitter study
Sons left home dreams sky high
I hope you reach goals soon
Honoring ancestors brings joy to whole family

[Gonggong's 10 lines of 7 words

Notes:
- My mom remembers her dad saying that even though his dad was not a landlord but a poor peasant they were always glad they had enough rice. Not many vegetables, just hot peppers. So they'd eat a little pepper, then a lot of rice, a bit more pepper, a lot more rice. Hubei province, where he grew up, is known for spicy food.
- In elementary school, students were taught about people who studied hard as model examples, fables on the virtues of education. There was a man ("I don’t know who," says my mom) who studied and when it was dark and he had no light, he’d go outside and study by the light of fireflies and the glints from snow.]

A description of experiencing hunger. When I was studying in Japan, at first I stayed in a place that didn’t have a kitchen. I had to go to the little street vendors. Even though these diners weren’t expensive, I didn’t have much money to eat and the food wasn’t very good. The street vendors were far from where I stayed. Sometimes I studied late and missed the hours they were open. I’d be hungry and have to walk fast in order to get there before they closed. This kind of difficult feeling is hard to describe but I wrote this to make a memory of what I experienced at that time. Later on, I moved to a place with three other roommates and we could cook, which eliminated this stress.

Hunger Burning

Endured much to cross east, for what
Gain loss only your heart knows which
Course work so broad like the sea
Firefly snow zeal none dare fall away
Dawn dark drill search still not enough
Read study focus often miss meal time
Rough food from street vendor tastes sweet
Skinny skin bones thin strength fails weak
Tired yet shoes hurry on hunger burning
Right when every home rice finish cooking

Beans

The other night, we were delayed because my mom kindly fixed the zipper on my jacket that I had previously fixed but with such slipshod quality that it unraveled after a week. My mom does nearly everything with care, precision, and fortitude. I hope to become more like her as I grow up. One can hope for nature and nurture to influence in positive ways, right?

Then, there was the helping my dad with the iPod my sister gave him. We spent some time creating his Apple ID and finding Teresa Teng on iTunes and then syncing over the Philadelphia Chickens an assorted other kids music my sister had on the iPod. Then of course was the familiarizing with iPod controls. "How do you turn it off?" and here I got to tell them about how most iDevices don't really turn off easily. It's a matter of going to sleep. I read somewhere this stems from Steve Jobs' Buddhist beliefs and not wanting "off" (associated with death) to be so final. The reason I mention this is because the poem translated in this post shows some of the Buddhist thinking my grandma (who became a Christian in her later years) held.

We didn't make time to translate a gonggong poem but my mom gave me a wonderful lesson about a classic poem by Caocao that my grandma's poem alludes to. I told my mom I'm going to be the most literary illiterate person in terms of Chinese poetry.

Caocao had two sons, the older son is jealous of his younger brother who is a talented prodigy. The older son commands the younger son to compose a poem in "seven steps" and this is the famous composition he came up with:

Cooking beans, dried bean leaf kindle.

Beans in pot cry [to the leaf kindling],

“We’re from the same root (brothers).

So, why do you push (cook) me so fiercely?”

This is nainai's poem:

Untitled [4 lines of 7 words]

In life why so much bitterness, pushing?

Mirth joy should span our golden years

These good deeds sown, reap in next

Like fairies hover, cross over to life